The Man In White

I sat in the dirt with a pregnant women sobbing in my arms telling me the story of how she got pregnant. This pregnancy was not planned and the father is one of her clients. I sat there holding her as her tears stained my skirt. She is 7 months, and in-between her trying to catch her breath she is telling me that she can’t afford to feed another mouth, and she has tried to end the pregnancy 4 times now, but the baby is just too strong, it won’t die she said.  She then looks up to me with blank eyes and a heavy heart and is begging me to take her baby.  I feel her arms wrap a little tighter around my body and she is clinging on to me for dear life.

My sweet friend just kept looking up at me and repeating please take this baby, you will love it, you can feed it, you can give it life, I can’t. I sat there, and the only words that could come out of my mouth were JESUS, JESUS, JESUS…  I couldn't do anything but hold her and cry.

What in the world do I say to this fragile woman? How do I love her in this moment? I felt like I needed to do so much more than just say, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

I can’t take the baby. I can’t take her pain away. I can’t magically make money appear.

I was at a loss for words. With all the strength I had in me, I made her stand up. We stood there and cried out to Jesus together. We lifted our hands and just began to worship through our tears. I knew in that moment that I had no advice to give, I couldn't find the words to make anything better, and I couldn't promise her an easy button for this baby. All I knew was that precious baby inside her was a fighter. They have now made it through 4 attempts of abortion, and God must have a mighty plan for that little one!

I would like to tell you that as we worshiped, Jesus touched her heart and healed all the wounds, and gave her the easy button. I would like to tell you that she wants to keep her baby. I would like to tell you that every time I see her she doesn't beg me to take her baby. But I can’t. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

I can tell you, that a man dressed in white comes to her in her dreams and he tells her she can do it, she can be a good mamma. I can tell you that every time I see her, even with the begging of me taking her baby, there is always a little more hesitation in her voice. I can tell you that every time I visit my friend there is always a little more hope in her eyes.

With my mustard seed of faith, I am declaring life over that precious baby. I am pressing in for this mamma to believe in herself, to see the strength inside her and rise up for all her babies. I truly believe that she is going to understand soon that the man in white in her dreams is the truth, the way. That he loves her past her sins, past her shame, and wants to take care of her.

Will you stand in the gap for this mamma and all the other mamma's around the world fighting fears and lies? Will you stand in the gap with me and declare life over these babies? Will you stand up for justice, around the world? Will you stand up and cry out to Jesus with me for the man in white to become SO real to her? 

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. 

Can't Be Bought - If I'm valuable, then your valuable!

In this culture there is little value placed on people and it is a foreign thing to believe that you are truly valuable! That is why are first 4 lessons are are all on value and helping these precious little girls find their worth! My little girl’s bodies are sold as objects, and often the other girls in the community are the ones selling them.  This past week we taught the concept of value and respect, not only for themselves, but for the people around them! Our hope this week was that our girl would walk away saying "if I am too valuable to be sold, then the girl down the street is also way too valuable to be sold."

The girls had a really hard time this week understanding why we couldn’t sell each other. So I had to go back to because you are SO valuable and GOD made you for a purpose and he doesn’t want you to be sold, and that means he really doesn’t want you sell your friend. I said that at least 50 times each class. We declared it. Screamed it. Whispered it. Danced as we declared it. We did it all! I made sure that by the end of class when I asked what it means to have value that I had tons of little hands shoot up in the air to answer! We might have to do this every week, and come back to value, and that is okay! If that is the only thing they walk away with every class, I am one happy missionary!

With our hope of this class being "if I am too valuable to be sold, then the girl down the street is also way too valuable to be sold”, then we are going to value and respect each other! Sooo, we taught them a little respect song! It was heavy day that ended with laughter and dancing!! 

It makes giggle, and my heart filled with so much love to imagine over 1,000 girls walking around the village singing respect. God wins again! :)  

Can't Be Bought Song

I am not for sale 

I can not be bought 

I'm powerful

I'm valuable 

My body's mine I'm FREE 

I am royalty 

I have destiny 

I 'll change history

Were gonna gonna change the world!!

Can't Be Bought - I am Priceless

My stomach was in knots as I went into Lesson 2 – “I am Priceless”… The idea of me telling my girls that no amount in the whole world is enough for someone to buy them didn't scare me. The idea that these babies girls truly don’t know that they don’t have a price tag on them is the part that terrified me. For most of my girls it was the first time they had someone say hey, you  don’t have a price tag on you, because you are NOT FOR SALE! I was scared, I was feeling inadequate to even look at them in the eyes and declare the truth that so needed to be said. I felt the weight of Gods heart on this lesson, and the love that he has for every single one of those little girls….

In the middle of the lesson we played a little game of The Price is Right! We had a few items up for sale and basically had an auction with lots of fake money in our pockets…  Towards the end of the auction I had “sold” all of my items and realized that I didn't have anything left to sell… So I ended up putting Kim, my team mate, up for sale. Without skipping a beat the girls started to shout out money, and to my surprise they started out really low, we got up to about $2.00 USD.. . AND then we dressed Kim up, we added jewelry, lip gloss, and a fancy new shirt, and again without skipping a beat the girls were screaming prices at us. Now that Kim looked “smart” as the girls say, the price kept going up, and up, and up. A couple of the girls even asked, if I pay money what can she do for me? The class ended up stopping at about $100 USD, and 1 of the classes even told us that because she couldn't “do” much, whatever that meant, that she wasn't worth more than $100…

Ah. I just went home and cried, and cried. The girls loved the game, and didn't blink an eye when I went to sell Kim. They knew exactly how much a women was worth, and knew that when we “dressed” her up how much she was worth then. The saddest part for me was when Kim and I got to tell them, that actually you can’t buy Kim, because no person in the whole world had enough money to buy her…  That actually no one can buy YOU, their little faces were so confused and just looked so blank. It was one of the moments where my heart hit the floor and the weight of their lies they have heard their whole life were there to just stomp on my heart. That was the moment that I was afraid of.

We made all the girls stand up and search their bodies for price tags…. I could slowly see their little eyes light up when they got it, and we could hear the AH’s I can’t find my price tag slowly start to pop up. They got it. Kim and I then got to explain to them that as long as their heart is beating and their lungs are filled with air, that they will never have a price tag! We got to scream, I AM PRICELESS at the top of our lungs together, and just laugh as I watched them “secretly” searching for their price tags again to make sure I was telling them the truth!

My girls walked out of that classroom knowing that they don’t have a price tag, that they are far too valuable for any amount to ever be put on them. My prayer is that they never face being bought… But when reality sets in, and the times comes when a person does place an amount on them, I hope that they can search their little bodies for that price tag, and find the strength to walk away.

I challenge you to pray for these girls this week. When you see a price tag, just pray that truth would linger over their lives always, and that they will walk away when someone puts a price on them. 

Can't Be Bought - I am Unique

Can't Be Bought 

3 schools.

Grades 4-6.

1000 girls.

14 lessons.

6 days a week. 

4 team members.

1 God. 

Having 250 precious big brown eyes looking at you  hearing that they are special for the first time ever, is a moment engraved on my heart forever. It was a moment of joy and sorrow. I wanted to cry as I was holding her and never let her go. 

My heart was heavy on my way home, for this was only week 1... This lesson was filled with get to know you questions, games, and doing their fingerprints to see that they are so unique that God even wanted their tiny little fingerprints to be special. It wasn't even a "hard" lesson, and already the reality of her life, of all the girls life; is they have NO idea that they are special, they have no idea what their worth is,  or that someone bigger than them loves them.... 

They don't know. 

Do your babies know that they are a 

unique? Do you tell them no matter how old they are, that you love them, and how important they are to you? Do you remind them even when you don't want to that they are a precious child of God?

Today, right now, don't let another minute go by, and make sure the kids in your life know with out any doubt that they are valuable, that are SO loved! 

For, we can not have any more generations walking around not knowing that they have worth and value. Its not okay. We must raise up Kings and Queens knowing their identity!  

Can't Be Bought... I thought I was coming to teach girls worth, and prevent them from selling their precious bodies... Only to come and watch them teach ME and love on me... 

Week 1 was beautiful. Its just the start of it all. Jesus is about to invade these precious girls and teach them what it means to be a valuable daughter of the Kings of Kings.. 

God Can. I can't.

As I was walking through the village I hear "BREEEE" "Mama BREEEE"... I couldn't see any little bodies, just houses and trees... Again I here "Mama BREEEEE", all the sudden the palm try a couple feet away started to giggle... 

My balloon babies.

As they all were clinging onto every inch of me we walked to the closet mango tree and we sat in the dirt and ate mangos... I just sat there and cried and ate my mango with these precious children...  My babies are dirty, their clothes are in rags, and their little feet have worms in them, and they are hungry. 

The tiniest ballon baby, Nixon has white hair, that is a sign of melnutrution...  He is 3, but he is a tiny little guy. His little bones stick out with his belly weighing more than him.  He is snuggled up right under my neck. I can feel him breathing on me and with every breath another tear falls.  I just needed to help him, but when I opened my eyes I realized its not just Nixon, its ALL the balloon babies. Its every girl trapped in a brothel right now, its every hungry child I pass by everyday. The need is everywhere.

My balloon babies, just sat with me and wiped away my tears. 

I don't have the answer. I can't feed everyone in Kenya. I can't run into every brothel and rescue the hundreds of baby girls. I can't do it all. I can't help every need. I can't.. 

God can. 

I didn't want to be super spiritual at that moment. I was mad at God. How, how can this be life for millions of people all over the world? It hurts my heart to know that every night when I lay my head down, right down the street a child goes to bed hungry every single night... 

God CAN. 

It's not my own strength.  It will never  will be my own strength. It will never be my job to feed everyone back to health. 

God can.

My job is to love God. My job is to stop for one, and feed them. My job is to stop for my balloon babies and feed them. My job is to stop when God says stop. 

God can.

I may never be able to feed thousands and thousands of kids, and thats okay, because God can.  

For now, I will feed Nixon and my balloon babies. I will start where God says start, and thats perfectly okay. 

God CAN and he WILL.  

He loves Nixon, and my balloon babies, and US more than I could ever know. I may never know the answer to end world hunger, but God sure does. And I know that his words never fail. 

GOD CAN. 

                     

 Please pray with me for my babies. That their tummies would be full. That their families would continue to welcome me in with love..  That I could continue to feed them and love them, and that their families would walk into the Kingdom with us! 

 

 

Balloons and Laughter

I was just going for a walk when I looked behind me and a trail of giggling kids were following me! We played this little game for a little bit where I would look back and they would stop in their tracks and close their little eyes and try with everything in them not to laugh! It was precious, and finally after a few minutes they got the courage to run up to me!

My alone time I was wanting to have was beautifully interrupted. The kids and I ended up hanging out in the middle of this dirt field and just laughed and played together. They didn't speak English and I don't speak Swahili... It was really just pure laughter and smiles.. We drew in the dirt and I had a few balloons stashed away.. It was a glorious day I had with Gods babies.

In that moment I felt Jesus as strong as ever.... It was one of those moments where you felt the fathers love pour down on you... I had 6 little babies just run with everything in them and jump into my arms. ( Cant just picture that glorious day when we get to run with everything in us into our fathers arms... Ha, Jesus! )

I knew in that moment I was the children and Jesus was the one turning around playing with me! Sometimes I can get so caught up in the spiritual fluff and words.. And really all he wants from me is to stop and lay in the dirt with him and laugh... He doesn't need my fancy words, he just wants me to run to him and want nothing in return.. He just wants to love me. He just wants to love US.

That's all those babies wanted was love. They wanted someone's time. They just wanted to have someone look in their eyes and say I love you.

Ah, that's Jesus! He wants to look into our eyes and say baby I love YOU. I don't need anything but your love. I just want you. I chose you, I always have and I always will!!

Balloons. Laughter. And Jesus. It's simple. He just wants our love.