Baby Isabella

A few blogs ago I wrote about one of my friends and how she was in a battle to keep her baby or not. My sweet friend had already tried to abort the baby 4 different times and she was never successful, so her next solution was to just had the baby over to me. 

I would go over to her house every Sunday afternoon and just love on her and just speak life over her when all she ever heard was death. She would always keep her head down in shame and would never look me in the eyes, unless we were talking about "the man in white" who would come to her at night in her dreams. In those small little moments I would watch her come alive, I saw her shoulders lay back in safety, and watch the walls around her heart fall. Our glory moments we had together. There was no music, no fluff, no lights or signs and wonders, it was just her telling ME about the "the man in white". That night as I left her house it was different. The way she hugged me was different, the way she asked me one more time to raise her baby was different. It was just different. 

We had a plan, my pastor and I. We had a plan for if ... well when she came to my door step with this baby. We were prepared to hand the baby off to the police station, and from there they would place our sweet baby in an orphanage.... I was given the honor to name the baby, and I was trying so hard to guard my heart and prepare my self to hand the baby over. The orphanage would be better than I. I am in no position to take this baby, nor has God asked me to.... We had a plan, it was a plan we have all prayed over, cried over, and I know even to this day that was the right plan and it was going to take place in just a few short days.

Sunday rolled around, and I hadn't heard from my friend in a few days. She hadn't had the baby yet so I made my normal trek over to her house. As I walked in, the door was wide open and the room was empty. All that was left of the room was dirt. She was gone. I tried calling her phone over and over and over again,but her phone was off. I just stood in the door and cried out to God. I opened my eyes to find one of the village momma's holding my hand. With tears in her eyes, she started to tell me where my friend was. The night before she had tried just one more time to abort the baby and she was successful. It was a little girl, Baby Isabella. ( Isabella means God's promise) 

Ah. The plan. We had a plan. 

The momma then goes on to tell me the next morning she packed up all her stuff and the kids and just left. As she was leaving, she kept saying "I am so shamed, I am so shamed", "Bre Bre, will be so shamed"... 

My heart hurts.I miss my friend. My heart hurts for her. I will never know what it feels like to have death knocking on the door for the baby inside me. I will never know what it feels like to not choose life for a baby whom I fear with live in the same poverty and hell my other kids live in. I will never know. 

Abortion is not the answer. It never was the answer. My friend didn't want to have Baby Isabella out of fear, and hurt. She was walking in a life of darkness and couldn't bare to drag one more child in the dirt with her. I do know that I love her even more now. My heart longs to just hold her, and pray away the shame. I do know that "the man in white" never left her side. I do know that even in all the sorrow, the joy is that Baby Isabella is getting rocked in the fathers love. Baby Isabella, my sweet girl who will be waiting  for me at the pearly gates

Pray with me for my friend, and for her life. Pray protection and love to just fill the pain and shame. Pray that she will say YES to Jesus' love and that she will stop and let him love her. Pray for my heart, and the hearts of all the women all over the world, dealing with shame and death knocking at their babies door. 

Romans 12:12  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Romans 8:6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

Awake our Soul

Then He said to me,

Prophesy to these bones and say to them,
Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!
This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones,
I will make breath enter you,
And you will come to life.
So I prophesied as I was commanded.
As I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound,
And the bones came together, bone to bone.
And I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them,
And skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
Then He said to me,
Prophesy to the breath,
Prophesy, son of man, and say to it,
Conjure the four winds of breath and breathe.
Awake my Soul — Chris Tomlin/Lecrae

The shootings. Guns. Abortions. Hatred. Murders. Sin. The lies. Drugs. Homelessness. Lack of God. Sickness. Fear.

This is America, where freedom rings. We have so much to be thankful for. We have everything here, yet when you watch the news and read the Facebook statuses, it’s all poor me, help me, SIN, fear, it’s a fallen world. People seem to care more about what the next trends are and the biggest and best gun to be bought before Obama bans them. We don’t see people in America.  We see ourselves, we want the American dream with the cars, the house, the perfect children. We want it all…

I don’t like America. I want to like America, I want to like the white people, I really do. I keep hearing the Lord say “GRACE, baby girl, love them, teach them”…. I don’t know how to extend grace to people who have everything and yet when they look at their lives they see nothing. I want America to WAKE UP. We have SO much here, so much that we should be a living example of heaven! If we  only cared as much about our children’s education and as we did about Obama banning guns or better yet, if we cared about our relationship with the Lord, America would be such a different place!

America is not dead, we have a fighting chance here, we have hope. We have more churches on every corner then we even know what to do with. Can you imagine America if we all stopped and just prayed? Really think about it.  If we all came together and worshiped our Lord, sat at his feet and tossed our crowns down… AH! what a glorious moment that would be! America can conquer sin.  I mean shoot, Jesus did the hard part people!  If we would just stop for Him and do what He is asking, if we would stop for each other and see the best in people, if we chose to love, if we lived and breathed His words that He put on this earth so you and I could live this world for HIM!

As I sit here in tears, I need to choose to love America. I can not throw it away and just move to Africa. I am just as much called here as I’m called to Africa. I need to choose grace on His people, I need to love the unlovable, I need to choose to love His people who do not yet know the love of the Lord. If I can have hope for a place where Jesus is not even known, I can and WILL love America.

— JESUS, help me. Help us. Come down this week and lavish your precious love on America. Wake your people up God. Encounter them so they have no choice but to bow at your feet. We owe you everything God, you deserve America to look up at you in love. Help our unbelief, you make ALL things work for your good, ALL things. Help me learn how to love your people here, to love them like you. I believe America will one day be yours again, not just pieces of it, but all of it. This is my cry God… To see this place be yours, to love your people, to show grace when you ask me to! Forgive us Father for not turning to you. We need you. We love you. We want you here! I love you papa, thank you God for saving me!

Bella House

I had the honor to visit Bella house, a Rescue and Rehabilitation home for child prostitutes and sex-trafficked victims in Kenya, Africa. There are currently 5 girls living at Bella House, ranging from age 8 to 20. These precious baby girls all have stories that are straight from hell, stories of being sold and tossed to the side by countless men every single night. Stories that make you lose your breath and make the magic carpet come right out from under your feet. I am not allowed to go into their specifics stories, for one they are not mine to tell, and their stories do NOT define them! For when you look in their beautiful eyes you see the glory of the Lord and more hope than you could ever imagine. They have faith that can move mountains, and set captives free, and I can say that I got to spend 3 glorious weeks filled with love, laughter, and SO much joy.

These girls have more joy than you can even believe, Bella House is a house full of FUN!  They start off the morning with family time and we got to worship the lord at the top of our lungs and every day the girls would thank the lord over and over and over again that they get to be like Queen Esther now. I really hope that people understand, those girls have been at Bella House only 3 months, and they are laid down lovers of the lord already! They went from hell … To living a life where they walk around the house praying, where they want to worship and dance before the lord, where they want to read the word and sleep with the bible at night. They have more faith than you and I can even begin to even imagine!

They captured my heart, forever. Those babies are what I call VICTORY. They are daughters of the lord and are not afraid to call it out… They are living in a house where they get told every second how loved they are, they know who their Father is, and they know when they lay their head down at night God is protecting them. They taught ME love, and hope… They taught me to overcome my past and to live my life with passion. My Bella House Princess’ changed my perspective on life, and I am forever honored that I got to meet these world changers.

They set a fire in my soul to help fight this battle of sex trafficking. .  I was amazed at how many girls are pimped out or how many feel forced to go out based on their circumstances.  Little princess’ who are being prostituted out, sold for sex to men who don’t even ask them their name. I mean in this village there are hundreds of girls out there stuck in hell. My eyes are opened, the lord would whisper dreams and hopes of the little girls I would see, and even though their lifeless faces would just stare straight into my eyes, their tears would fall at my feet, I saw their life beyond the next man! The lord allowed me in that moment to speak life into them, and just love them. But, that is not enough. YES, I am called to love them, but the lord is calling me higher, he is calling me to Kenya. He has shown me little girl’s faces that are going to be mine, brothels that will be turned upside down and used for his glory, this village will be his again! My heart is captured for this place, and ready to see an end to sex trafficking and child prostitution… I have faith that Father God is bigger than hell, amen, I have faith that God is calling me to here to not just make a difference but SEE the difference! Slavery, sex trafficking, hell on earth, WILL be stopped in the name of Jesus; Bella House is just the begging in this village!